The Perfect Storm

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Life with migraine disease is not for the faint at heart, the very nature of this disease is such that you must don the cape of courage and fight like warriors of old. Many of us with migraine disease, also have comorbidities, other diseases or disorders that can directly or indirectly affect the way we treat these diseases, as well as migraine. As you may get an inkling, this is no small task.

As with migraine disease, our comorbidities may have triggers of their own, certain physical activities, changes in weather, that cause a flare and increase pain. Some of these disease can be so painful at times bed rest is actually needed to help calm oversensitive nerves. It’s really important to try to understand that, when a person who is living migraine, or chronic migraine, along with a chronic pain disorder, their lives are extremely difficult. And they often feel very alone.

Feeling alone is my next topic. With chronic pain disorders, migraine disease and comorbidities. Many of us, myself included have various levels of depression and anxiety. I have clinical depression, which is heredity, from my maternal side of the family. I take daily medication for both depression and anxiety, medication in itself is not a cure-all, at least I don’t believe it to be. I use mediation, biofeedback, calming techniques, the Calm App and mindfulness to help control breakthrough feelings of depression and panic attacks. The simple process of making myself of cup of Camomile tea ia calming. My oldest friend is a weapon, books, reading helps to take my mind off of depressive thoughts and corral anxiety. For how else can you escape reality for a bit than through a book, into the world of mystery, adventure, love and history?

All of that being said, I do have times despite my best efforts, when I have breakthrough depression. These times usually come when I’m in an intractable migraine and fibromyalgia flare, that has been active for some time. It becomes the perfect storm! My head and body pain is horribly high. Stomach distress begins to kick in, awful cramps soon followed by diarrhea. I become extremely crabby, which is not my normal personality, on days like this I stay in my cave, my husband doesn’t deserve to be the target of my moods. Depression starts to creep in, telling me things such as; get over yourself, no one cares about you anyway, who are you trying to kid, you’re all  your own sucker. Why don’t you just do everyone a favor and disappear from Facebook and Twitter. How can you look at yourself in the mirror? You’re fat and ugly nobody would want to be your friend if they really knew how you looked. Then comes the feelings of being so overwhelmed/anxious  by the smallest everyday activities, to the point that I want nothing more but to stay in bed with the covers over my head. I don’t want to talk to, see, interact with people, leave my house, zip nada!

This is my Perfect Storm

The wind is slowly starting to change direction and blow this Perfect Storm away, it won’t happen overnight, but it will happen. Each one of us living with migraine disease have the makings of a perfect storm in our lives. Please take my example and don’t let it get beyond your capabilities to deal with it on your own. Seek help, there is absolutely no shame in doing so. No matter what your mind might tell you, YOU ARE NEVER ALONE

 

Live with hope,
Roni

 

Photo stock: Storyblocks

Twas Days After Christmas: A Spoonie Tale

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Twas days after Christmas, wrapping paper, bows and boxes are strewn all through the house. I had just laid down with visions of sleeping, until Spring arrived again.

When out in the driveway there arose such a clatter,
I moved as quickly as I could from the bed to see what was the matter.
To the window I went and to wondering eyes I saw, “A Maid For You” van, driven by Santa Claus! Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus! 

Santa with eyes that twinkle! Dimples merry, 
cheeks like roses, nose like a cherry!
His little mouth drawn up like a bow. And his beard was as white as the snow; He had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook, when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly.
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf. 

Being Santa he knows the struggles of migraine, chronic pain and spoonies everywhere, as well as our tendency to overextend ourselves during the holidays. Even if we don’t overextend ourselves, the added activities and stress of trying to appear “normal”, takes a toll on us. We need time for our bodies to recuperate and stop fighting against us, we are in no way lazy, but are trying to survive with the diseases we were given. We quickly use up or spoons, so when all of the festivities are over, we are left feeling utterly wiped out. With no energy to deal with the mess left over from Christmas, personally all I’ve want to do is sleep, hoping this will help make the beast go away. Unfortunately this hasn’t worked, the migraine and fibromyalgia flare are still here. 

Santa’s gift of “A Maid For You” is like manna from heaven! Too bad this is a fictional part of my story. Every spoonie I know would love such a gift. My advice to you, don’t be so hard on yourself, guilt has no place here, if you need help ask for it, get comfortable with saying no, when decorating do only what you have the energy for, shop online thus avoiding possible triggers. I receive so much joy from giving gifts to my family and my migraine sisters. Shopping online allows me to find that perfect gift for each person. Make sure that you have spoons left to enjoy spending time with your family, that is more important than a beautifully decorated house. 

Wishing you and yours a Happy and Healthy New Year!

“Tomorrow, is the first blank page of a 365 page book. Write a good one.”
― Brad Paisley 

Live with hope,
Roni

 

Stock picture: Storyblocks