Humble and Kind

“Don’t expect a free ride from no one
Don’t hold a grudge or a chip and here’s why:
Bitterness keeps you from flyin’
Always stay humble and kind”

This song has been on my mind, since I heard Addison Agen sing it on The Voice last week. The song was special to her, you could tell by the way she sang it and how she was overcome with emotion, at the end of the song. Personally I don’t know how young people of this age, hold up under the months it takes, to tape and produce this show. Showing your true emotions when singing, makes for a terrific singer and performer. Addison is only sixteen, she still has many things to learn, but I don’t think we’ve heard the last of Addison.

There are many excellent points in this song written by Tim McGraw. Such as the one above,  Don’t hold a grudge or a chip and here’s why: Bitterness keeps you from flyin'”  Living with migraine, I need to be able to fly, when I’m able to, I don’t and I can’t be trapped by bitterness. Always stay humble and kind!

“Hold the door, say “please”, say “thank you”
Don’t steal, don’t cheat, and don’t lie
I know you got mountains to climb
But always stay humble and kind
When the dreams you’re dreamin’ come to you
When the work you put in is realized
Let yourself feel the pride
But always stay humble and kind”

Most of this, is just plain common sense, but it seems that many folks have lost their common sense. “Don’t steal, don’t cheat, and don’t lie!” Seems simply enough, but it’s getting to the point, that you don’t know who to trust. That is truly sad and not the same meaning, I see Tweeted all to often! Always stay humble and kind!

“I know you got mountains to climb
But always stay humble and kind
When the dreams you’re dreamin’ come to you
When the work you put in is realized
Let yourself feel the pride
But always stay humble and kind”

I have plenty of mountains to climb and I’m sure that you do too. “When the dreams you’re dreaming dreamin’ come to you. When the work you put in is realized, let yourself feel the pride. But always stay HUMBLE and KIND“!  I’m sharing this part of the song, to let anyone who has a hobby, sings, cooks or bakes, because they love to. Don’t ever give up on your dreams. Don’t let migraine disease steal that from you and the rest of the family! Always stay humble and kind!

“Don’t take for granted the love this life gives you
When you get where you’re going don’t forget turn back around
And help the next one in line
Always stay humble and
kind”

Don’t take for granted, the migraine community, and the love it gives each of us! I don’t know how I made it through, thirteen years of chronic migraine, without any support. Besides my husband and family, while I am very thankful for them, it is just not the same, as talking with someone who is going through the same thing you are. Also I’ve made some very special friends, over the past four years! That means so much to me, I lost a someone who I thought was my best friend, because I stopped going to church. We had been friends for over thirty years, I just couldn’t take the loud music and children. That didn’t matter to her, I wasn’t good enough anymore. It was like having my heart ripped out. I guess our friendship wasn’t as close as I thought. Lesson learned the hard way, no matter I have friends now, who have better friends in fours years, than she was in thirty. Always stay humble and kind, and let it go!

Here is Addison Agen singing: Humble and Kind


Live with hope,
Roni

 

 

 

Honesty and Hope

“Imagine smiling after a slap in the face. Then think of doing it twenty-four hours a day.”
Markus Zusak

I had to think very long and hard, before writing this blog post, because my subject is not all sweetness and light. I decided to be quite honest about, what I have been going through for some time now, but also let you know, that without hope I wouldn’t be able to, continue my journey with migraine.

During my last hospitalization, I discovered that my baseline pain level, had changed from a two, up to a four. Despite three hospital stays, for DHE infusion treatments, along with other medications, I have been in Intractable Migraine status, for about 85% of this year. This also means, that I have spent that same amount of time in my migraine cave. Not really much of a life is it? There have been times, that I wanted to scream, cry, shake my fists towards the heavens and ask, why me, what did I ever do, to deserve this? The answer is simply nothing, I just drew the wrong genetic straw. Feeling sorry for myself, gets me nowhere, neither does, always putting on a mask and smiling like an insane person, to the point your facial muscles hurt. It’s okay to let down your guard, we are not super humans, but everyday folks, living with chronic illness, some of us more than one.

Pain such as this, is isolating, I wasn’t able to attend my families Thanksgiving at my brother and sister-in-laws home this year. This is the first time ever, I have missed going, it was heartbreaking and made me feel very guilty at the same time. I am beyond thankful that my husband is so supportive, he as never complained one time, about turning into a househusband. Me on the other hand, feel horribly guilty about it, but when I say something, Rick gets very upset with me, he always says “It’s not your fault that you’re in pain, you have nothing to be guilty about. These are my chores, just as much as yours, so stop it!” Rick is retired, so that makes a big difference and he loves to cook and grill, I call him the grillmaster! I get really tickled watching him look up recipes on Pinterest. My sister, Malissa has been very supportive, she texts me almost everyday or every other, to check on me. We’re the closest in age and have always been close, even though she lives about an hour and half away. A lot of you know her and have seen pictures of her fabulous creativity and business, I’m very proud of her. I also have the support of my wonderful migraine sisters and the migraine community. Such a blessing!

It is very hard to explain, what happens to the body when a migraine attack strikes, to someone who has never experienced it. It’s so much more than the headache that comes with it, that is just one symptom, most of the time I have the one-sided, searing, stabbing, throbbing pain. Another days it feels like my head is in a vice, squeezing harder and harder. My scalp gets very tender, allodynia, neck pain is part of my head pain, sensitivity to light, big time, my pupils stay dilated to between 7-8mm at all times and do not constrict much at all with light. Sensitivity to sounds and certain smells, IBS symptoms, nausea and vomiting, mood swings, aphasia, memory loss, brain fog, severe fatigue, loss of appetite, or food cravings, dizziness, weakness. This list can go on, depending on what type of migraine a person has. At times some of these symptoms are more debilitating than, the head pain is. I have fibromyalgia as well, which flares along with a migraine attack, leaving me feeling like, I’ve gone a round with The Incredible Hulk!

One of the newest and most frightening things I’ve been dealing with is nightmares. Nightmares in which, I am awaken from literally fighting, kicking and punching, crying and screaming, make it stop. I think that I spend so much of my energy, trying to push down the pain, to be brave and not whine. That when I’m asleep, my subconscious brings it to the surface, whether the pain is physical or mental, no matter how long you stuff it down. It’s going to show its face somehow and make you deal with it. I’ve awoken crying from pain before, but nowhere near this kind of level. I didn’t like this at all, as I said it was very frightening and I knew that I needed to do something about it. My husband knew about it of course. I talked with two people who I trusted, and explained what had happened, they both gave me encouragement and hope. I have not had a nightmare since then, that is why I believe so strongly in hope. With hope nothing is impossible!

I’ve also decided to make a few small changes in my life, while I still believe wholeheartedly in advocating for migraine disease, for myself and others. That doesn’t mean, migraine should be my sole focus. I am an avid reader, have been since the 3rd grade, if someone tried to steal my purse or my Kindle Fire, I would give them my purse! I’ve also discovered some new Facebook pages, that basically are just for fun, when you find yourself in pain all the time, fun is just the ticket. There are some days that my pain levels are too high, for the computer or TV. Those days I can usually read, either with the light level lowered or the blue shade engaged, on my Kindle. I know most of us living with migraine, have little tips and tricks, we use to make life easier. Please feel free to share some, I’d love to read them! Oh dear, I almost forgot, I made one other change, just a tiny one. I had some purple streaks added to my hair! lol
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“There is a saying in Tibetan, ‘Tragedy should be utilized as a source of strength.’
No matter what sort of difficulties, how painful experience is, if we lose our hope, that’s our real disaster.”
Dalai Lama XIV

Live with hope,
Roni